Poetic Notes Journal

Saying sorry isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially if you have sinned severely, or if you did not commit any mistake at all, or just committed one unintentionally. You might come to think that there is no sense in saying sorry for something you didn’t do or for something that has happened without your attention or knowledge, which turns out to have made someone mad. But, believe it or not, there is.

Typically, we say sorry and ask for forgiveness alongside our apologies that we say to the victim of our negative act. Sometimes it just happens that they won’t accept your apology, sometimes they’ll keep themselves out of your sight so that apologizing won’t be matter anymore, but finding them; rather.

I won’t tackle much about “saying sorry” stuff, but I’d like to share what has happened to me, earlier this evening. As I came home, from school. I immediately called Chedie (Alica Kria Amoranto). For the sake of checking her out, saying some words of appreciation and kindness and the usual Chedieniess (you don’t want to know more about this, I assure you that).

But, prior our talk when I was still roaming around at the nearest mall to our house (NCCC Mall of Davao). It happened that I had to wait. Wait. And wait for my parents to arrive, because as agreed with them, we should meet at the mall and together buy my requirements and school supplies. Eventually, there I stood now waiting for more than 90 minutes for the arrival of both parties, my mother and my father. And there was still no sign.

No was there any sign of presence coming from Chedie, since her last text this morning “w8 ln ched .s2dy xcog chem” I haven’t received any follow up message anymore. So, I decided to send a group message which I won’t pass over to her inbox. The message was supposed to catch the attention of any of the text friends of mine who were her friends also, it contained some unpleasant context which made her very mad at me.

I said something like: “Wow, she looks beautiful now, what a cool chique, I which I’ve never let go of her in the past.” And that has really caught the attention of one of her friends who immediately has forwarded the message to her. So, now, without any spare moments to explain my point of the issue, she called the “chedie” stuff over, and done.

Here I am now. Wasting 20 Pesos load just to get a immediate hang up from her, calling her up just to get the phone bashed and hear the dead tone instead of her pretty voice. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep hanging on to say sorry?

Sorry isn’t just simply saying sorry, if you don’t exert effort into it, then you definitely don’t mean it. There’s no proof that I could hand over but based on observation and experience, most of the time when you strive to ask the forgiveness of someone, and keep holding on to it; you will get it at any time soon. Don’t just say sorry because you have to; but because you like and want to. It’s not the most difficult thing in the world, nor is it the easiest. But believe me. Even if you would be ignored, at least letting out of what you feel and trying your luck in your apology will make you feel a whole lot better.

As I do hope, that she’ll get some time to read this anytime soon. I’d like to say it once again, I’m sorry Chedie for what ever made you mad at me, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for what ever that made you hurt, I don’t want to see you facing the ground. I hope that you will forgive me soon enough, before my hopes go, and fly away fading, beyond the shadow of poignant history…